i always get scared that i'll end up having some debilitating disease that happens to me, and with my late scare of not knowing whether or not i have multiple sclerosis, i've been freaking out a bit over my relationship and what will happen if i end up genuinely having it.  i've been suffering consistent panic attacks because of this, and it's not fun at all.

however, my earlier conversation with squeeky has proved to help quite a bit.  even though i'm still deathly afraid of having something like that happen to me, she reassured me that she wouldn't leave me.

i'm so lucky to have her.

this is pretty much the lowest of the low that you can get. a mother tormenting her own daughter - WHO IS AN ADULT AND CAN MAKE DECISIONS FOR HERSELF - because she obviously is insecure about something.

this is getting fucking ridiculous. my future mother-in-law is psychotic and obviously needs mental help, and it's getting on my nerves more and more every time i find out she's done something new. this bitch has a tendency to wait until things have settled down, then she'll suddenly pull a batshit move that only makes her look more unstable and psychotic.

saying that terry's been sleeping with her? what the fuck does that warrant? rape is a very serious thing, and using it with slander and as a weapon only just shows how desperate you are for attention. it's fucking pathetic. i almost pity her. yet, at the same time, i don't.

i can't wait to give this bitch a piece of my mind jfkld;alkjfieoji

found this, decided to do it out of boredom.

Favorite Brand Store: .. will i sound like a scene kid if i say hot topic?

Favorite Music: stuff i can mosh to.  oh, and techno.

Blood type: huh, i don't know.

Birthday: july 1.

Foot size: dude i have huge feet D; like... a 10W/10 1/2 W in women's.  i wear a guy's shoe, though.  8 - 9.

Fragrance: mmm... axe.

My catchphrase: catchphrase?  this isn't a comic book.

Hobby: wasting away on the internet, or doing otherwise illegal things even though i've been told i'm stupid for doing so

Strong point: umm... i don't know.

Weak point: like, everything.

Something will never give up on.: huh, no clue.

My future aspirings: move the fuck out of oklahoma, get married, get a good job, the end.

Four jobs I've had in my life: antichrist, local heretic, highschool drama therapist, and lazy bum.

Four films I can watch over and over: memoirs of a geisha, stephen king's IT, THE HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT OMG, and howl's moving castle.

Four TV shows I love to watch: ahh... metalocalypse, miscellaneous stand-up comedy shows, robot chicken, andddd... fffff... athf.

Four places I have lived: mcalester, mcalester, mcalester, mcalester.

Four places I have been on vacation Vacation: uh well i wouldn't call some of them vacations.  memphis, san diego, los angeles, and fresno.

Four of my favorite foods: fried chicken (has to be chicken breast, omg, and boneless), lemon chicken & rice, pizza, and uh chicken a la parilla ( I LOVE COCK, CAN YOU TELL?)

Four websites I visit daily: oh god, i don't visit four websites daily.  myspace, neopets, myspace, neopets.

Four places I would rather be right now: kitty's house, holly's house, walmart, or LA.

Four people I want to shag: uh... brittany, brittany, brittany, and not you.

Klein Sexual Orientation Grid

I scored an average of 3.29

0

1

2

3

4

5

6

Heterosexual

Bisexual

Homosexual

Meaning

This result can also be related to the Kinsey Scale:


0 = exclusively heterosexual
1 = predominantly heterosexual, incidentally homosexual
2 = predominantly heterosexual, but more
than incidentally homosexual
3 = equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 = predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally
heterosexual
5 = predominantly homosexual, incidentally heterosexual
6 = exclusively homosexual

Summary

The idea of this excercise is to understand exactly how dynamic a person's sexual orientation can be, as well as how fluid it can be over a person's lifespan. While a person's number of actual homo/heterosexual encounters may be easy to categorize, their actual orientation may be completely different. Simple labels like "homosexual", "heterosexual", and "bisexual" need not be the only three options available to us.

Take the quiz

i just realized... i hate potential competition.

mine. mineminemineminemineMINE!

i just realized i have no friends on livejournal except like one awesome person and my fiance...?  lol.  and even then i feel like i don't even talk to them.

I'M A LOSER.
meme time. 8D

ROLEPLAYING CHARACTER MUSES! 8D

List:
Anastasia
Vyper
Sergei
Azrael
Royal
Aries
Jade
Riot
Havok
Tabby
Tavi
Tsuki


Years roleplaying: i uh... 3.
Least favourite character: lol um.  i don't have a least favorite.  D:
Favourite characters: jade and royal atm.
Male or female characters: all males. ;D
Oldest character: OLD FART ANASTASIA. oh you meant chronologically created. i uh... in that list?  ana.
Newest character: royal.
Most popular character: um.  popular how so?  i'm going to take a long shot and say tabby or tavi.
Character (type) you've never played: wimminz.
Which character of yours would be most likely to...

---Jump off a bridge? royal.  he is dante's son after all.


---Get drunk and pass out? lol vyper and jade.


---Kill somebody in a very unorthodox way? tabby and tavi.


---Get married? well like some of them ARE married.


---Be far too hyper for their own good? TSUKI LOL.


--Get lost and refuse to ask for directions? hiroto.  i mean.  what?


---Get lung cancer? vyper.


---Star in a horror movie? ... tavi.


---Make the world a better place? ~*~JADE~*~


---Have a horrid gay love affair? royal (he already is HO-HO-HO~)


Relate each word to a character of yours:

-Love: jade.

-Hate: tabby.

-Money: ana.

-Seduction: aries.

-Lies: royal.

-Tragedy: ana.

-Manipulation: riot.

-Violence: tavi/tabby.

-Politics: ana.

-Fire: HAVOK LOL CANDLES?

-Ice: vyper (ice is a drug, too, right?)

Would you ever...

-Play a prostitute? yes lol.

-Play a musician? yes.

-Play a pilot? i uh guess.

-Play a homosexual? ... LOL. NO STUPID FAGS.

-Play a paedophile? funny story about that.

-Play a politician? yeah sure.

-Create a character for the sole purpose of smut? LOL YES.

-Play a character who commits incest? ... FUNNY STORY ABOUT THAT, TOO...

i've been off of livejournal forever.  D: yeah, i know.  things have happened.  your mom dying isn't the best thing to happen irl, y'know?  but i'm going to start entries off (again lolol) with a nice, happy thing.

a music-shuffle-theme thing.

1. Put your iTunes on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!



My answers:

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
breezy (nobuo uematsu) [lulz, EASY PEASY BREEZY?]

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
my plague (slipknot) [hey it fits i guess.  8D the lyrics are definitely me!]

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
can you keep a secret? (utada hikaru) [... i guess... honesty is... key? -confused-]

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
lunatic pandora (nobuo uematsu) [K SO I'M CRAZY TODAY?]

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
dazzle (lynch.) [... TO MOSH?]

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
loser (static x) [LOL -HEADBANG!-]

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
granite (pendulum) [... there aren't any lyrics.  but the music is drum & bass techno.]

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
kein (buck-tick) [well, buck-tick is a very sexual band, i'm assuming it's talking about sex.  in which it'd be right.]

WHAT IS 2+2?
rainy day (coldplay) [WHEEEEE~~~]

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
phantoms (nobuo uematsu) [apparently itunes likes final fantasy music.]

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
das omen (e nomine) [BRITTANY IS THE DYEEEEVIL.]

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
rojiura boku to kimi e (MUCC) [i so don't know how this connects

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
mein (deftones) [this has no career value whatsoever.  D:]

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
saga (sisen) [L. O. FUCKING. L.  THIS FIT HILARIOUSLY WELL.]

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
vampire missa (D) [... i'm a vampire?  i don't think my dad thinks that.  he thinks i'm a nerdy emo girl.  o_o]

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
milkshake (goodnight nurse) [MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD]

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
memories with lucrecia (dirge of cerberus) [that'd be pretty.  ;n;]

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
sleeping in (the postal service) [lol that's true.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
pretend we're dead (L7) [zoooooombeeeez]

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
i've got a lovely bunch of coconuts (monty python) [... that's pretty good if you ask me.  AND IT'S TRUE~ LULZ.]

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
so fresh and so clean (outkast) [BLACK PEOPLE?! D8]

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
clean up the blood (i hate sally) [... oh you know.  blood stains are a bitch.]

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
i kissed a girl (katy perry) [... lol.]

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
euro dance (i am x-ray) [techno?  NO IT MAKES ME HAPPY~]

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
oh my juliet (LM.C) [you're lucky it wasn't something rude like yours was.  ;c]

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
cream + mint (KOTOKO) [uhh... minty flavored cum, i guess.]

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
die letzte nacht (D) [... apparently not.]

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
EMPTY GIRL (buck-tick) [... MY WEIGHT? 8D]

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
technologic (daft punk) [... makes no sense, but this is my ringtone lulz.]

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
smile ichiban ii onna (an cafe) [how about no?]

CHRISTMAS~
THAT JEWISH HOLIDAY I CAN'T SPELL~
KWANZAA~
SOLSTICE~

whatever you celebrate, happy holidays.  :D i personally celebrate christmas, but there's no religious sentiment to it - considering i'm a satanist, maybe, lololol.  but I'VE HAD TO PUT UP WITH NOT TALKING TO MY BABY ALL DAY.  ;_; and... she just called.

WOAHHH PSYCHICCCC.

but yeah, i got an xbox 360, like... $275 dollars for myself, the last remnant (SQUEENIX GAME FOR XBOX), and then my baby got me another game called eternal sonata and like... i don't even know what all.  SHE WON'T TELL ME.  >_>

but uh. UH.  UHHHHH.
PUSH IT REAL GOOD!

/push it reference

yeah, i spent like fucking $200 over the past few months for christmas gifts and the like.  idk, i'm lameeee.

NO ONE'S ON MSN.
since i switched from my old account and didn't bother telling most people i had a new one.
lololol.

I'M MEAN, Y/Y?

that's all.  8D

I CAN'T DRAW RAINBOWS.  ;____________;

poor vyper's hair looks like a fucking premade, pastel gradient.  i fucked up on it... BAAAAD.
http://i41.tinypic.com/2rnud69.png

but oh well.  i've been up since, uh...  5:30am or so.  i got maybe four hours of sleep, if i'm to be that lucky.  i've been staying up later lately, usually talking to brittany, but ehh... i don't know what woke me up today.  i'll probably crash early tonight because of it, too, and then it'll take ages for me to get back into staying up later and sleeping longer.

though it's pointless since dad gets all snappy about me being on the computer late.
-mutter- asshole...

jdsk;fldkjlfj -FOAMS AT THE MOUTH-
... only not really.

I HAVE A WRITING MUSE BUT CAN'T GET IT OUT.
D8 suckssss.

however... i am listening to
TECHNO!!!!1
(damn i'm lame.)